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Roast Beef Medium - The Business Adventures of Emma McChesney Edna Ferber

Roast Beef Medium - The Business Adventures of Emma McChesney

Edna Ferber

Published
ISBN : 9781406749915
Paperback
316 pages
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 About the Book 

ROAST BEEF MEDIUM THE BUSINESS ADVENTURES OF EMMA McCHESNEY BY EDNA FERBER AUTHOR OF DAWN OHARA, BUTTERED SIDE DOWN, ETC. WITH TWENTY-SEVEN ILLUSTRATIONS BY JAMES MONTGOMERY FLAGG NEW YORK FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY PUBLISHERS Aiul they call thatMoreROAST BEEF MEDIUM THE BUSINESS ADVENTURES OF EMMA McCHESNEY BY EDNA FERBER AUTHOR OF DAWN OHARA, BUTTERED SIDE DOWN, ETC. WITH TWENTY-SEVEN ILLUSTRATIONS BY JAMES MONTGOMERY FLAGG NEW YORK FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY PUBLISHERS Aiul they call that thing a pittiYuut - fa s . COPYRIGHT, I I J, BT ICK A. STOKES COMPANY COPYRIGHT, I9II, 1911, IQIJ, BT 1KB PHILLIPS PUBLISHING COMPANY All rtght t rtstrvtd FOREWORD Roast Beef, Medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy. Seated at Lifes Dining Table, with the Menu of Morals before you, your eye wan ders a bit over the entrees, the hors dceuvres, and the things a la, though you know that Roast Beef, Medium, is safe, and sane, and sure. It agrees with you. As you hesitate there sounds in your ear a soft and insinuating Voice. Youll find the tongue in aspic very nice to day, purrs the Voice. May I recommend the chicken pie, country style Perhaps youd relish something light and tempting. Eggs Benedictine. Very fine. Or some flaked crab meat, perhaps. With a special Russian sauce. Roast Beef, Medium How unimaginative It sounds. How prosaic, and dry You cast the thought of it aside with the contempt that it deserves, and you assume a fine air of the epicure as you order. There are set before you things encased in pastry things in frilly paper trousers things that prick the tongue sauces v FOREWORD that pique the palate. There are strange vege table garnishings, cunningly cut. This is not only Food. These are Viands. u Everything satisfactory inquires the in sinuating Voice. Yes, you say, and take a hasty sip of water. That paprika has burned your tongue. Yes. Check, please. You eye the score, appalled. Look here Arent you over-charging Ourregular price, and you catch a sneer beneath the smugness of the Voice. It is what every one pays, sir. You reach deep, deep into your pocket, and you pay. And you rise and go, full but not fed. And later as you take your fifth Moral Pepsin Tablet you say Fool and Fool and Fool When next we dine we are not tempted by the Voice. We are wary of weird sauces. We shun the cunning aspics. We look about at our neighbors table. He is eating of things French, and Russian and Hungarian. Of food garnished, and garish and greasy. And with a little sigh of content and resignation we settle down to our Roast Beef, Medium. E. F. vij CONTENTS PAGE I. ROAST BEEF, MEDIUM i II. REPRESENTING T. A. BUCK .... 28 III. CHICKENS 50 IV. His MOTHERS SON 78 V. PINK TIGHTS AND GINGHAMS . . .107 VI. SIMPLY SKIRTS 137 VI L UNDERNEATH THE HIGH-CUT VEST . .166-VIII. CATCHING UP WITH CHRISTMAS . . . 196. IX. KNEE-DEEP IN KNICKERS 230-X. IN THE ABSENCE OF THE AGENT . . . 263, ILLUSTRATIONS And they call that thing a petticoat . Frontispiece PAGE. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers he announced, glibly - 5 That was a married kiss a two-year-old married kiss at least 15, I wont ask you to forgive a hound like me . . 25 Youll never grow up, Emma McChesney ... 57 Well, slong then, Shrimp. Sec you at eight . . 63 Tm still in a position to enforce that ordinance against pouting 69 Son echoed the clerk, staring 81 Well gulped Jock, those two double-bedded, blooming blasted Bisons 91 Come on out of here and Ill lick the shine aff your shoes, you blue-eyed babe, you . ... 103 You cant treat me with your lifes history. Im going in 115, Now, Lillian Russell and cold cream is one and new potatoes and brown crocks isanother ... 127 Why, girls, I couldnt hold down a job in a candy factory 1, 133, Honestly, I 1 d wear it myself 151 Tve lived petticoats, Ive talked petticoats, Ive dreamed petticoats- why, Ive even worn the darn thingsl 157 And found himself addressing the backs of the letters on the door marked Private 163 ILLUSTRATIONS PAGE Shut np, you blamed fool Cant 3 ou see the ladys sick . iC At his gaze that lady fled, sample-case banging at her knees ...